Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Introduction Letters

I always have a hard time writing introduction letters to my new Sponsored girls. They come out sounding a mix of stiffly formal and hyper-excited, which is a pretty awkward combination! I'm trying to write my first letter to Dianne tonight, and I've already started over three times.

Draft 1:

Dear Dianne,
  Mabuhay! How are you today? I hope that you and your family and friends are all in good health!
  My name is Shannon, and I am your new Sponsor! I am very excited to get to know you. I will start by telling you a bit about me. I live in the USA in the state of Maryland with my boyfriend Julio and my dog Ali`i. Julio and I both work for Southwest Airlines. In our free time, we like to spend time with our friends. We all gather at one of our houses to play games and eat snacks.


Draft 2:

Dear Dianne,
  Mabuhay! How are you today? I hope that you and your family and friends are all in good health. I am so excited to get to know you and I hope you are excited to get to know me too! I will start by telling you a little bit about me.


Draft 3:

Dear Dianne,
  Mabuhay! How are you today? I hope that you and your family and friends are all in good health.
  My name is Shannon, and I am your new Sponsor. I am so excited to be your Sponsor and to get to know you. Let me start by telling you a little bit about me. I live in Maryland with my boyfriend Julio and my dog Ali`i. Julio and I both work for Southwest Airlines. We supervise the gys who load and unload the luggage from the planes.
  In my free time I like to knit and crochet blankets for my family and friends. I also like to attend medieval events on the weekends. It is a lot of fun! What do you like to do in your free time?
  Some of my favorite things: the color green, the cartoon character Snoopy, and Christmas. My favorite sport is racquetball, and I also really like to swim. My favorite place is Raquette Lake--my family goes there for vacation every summer. My favorite food is fettuccini alfredo.
  I hope to receive your letter soon! I can't wait to hear about your school and family and friends, and all of your favorite things!
With big hugs,
Shannon


I'm not entirely satisfied with Draft 3, but I think I'm going to stick with it, since I don't know exactly what I would do to improve it ...

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